On Violence by Natasha Stott Despoja

Author:Natasha Stott Despoja
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Melbourne University Publishing

Blurred lines

Young people may be more supportive of equality in some areas (for example, they will support women’s equal right to education), but are also more likely to endorse men dominating decision-making in relationships. People aged 16 to 24 have a lower level of understanding of violence against women than those who are older, and are also more likely to excuse it, and 61 per cent of young people say a woman could leave a violent relationship if she wanted—this is 14 points higher than for the 35 to 65-year age group.23 The ‘boys club’ or ‘bro code’ is alive and well: nearly a quarter of men aged 12 to 20 years believe that males who take on a more dominant role in a relationship gain more respect from their friends.24

Work carried out by ‘The Line’, a national online campaign for people aged 12 to 20, shows that although young people still have some trouble understanding what constitutes a respectful relationship, there is positive attitudinal change occurring. Young people’s attitudes in relation to victim-blaming, non-physical forms of violence and the rejection of male control have improved significantly in the past few years. More young people understand that it’s not a girl’s fault if she is sexually harassed or disrespected, regardless of whether she has had a drink or what clothes she chooses to wear.

But there are concerning attitudes among 12 to 20-year-olds around the issues of sexual consent and pressure for sex. Almost 60 per cent of young people believe that if a guy wants to have sex with a girl and the girl does not want to, it is up to the girl to make it very clear she does not consent.

Young people’s understanding of the drivers of gendered violence are growing, but we are only just beginning to assess the impact of digital technology, including ‘sexting’ and pornography, on young people. Violence on our screens is ubiquitous, and parents now bond over their shared despair about addictive online games such as Fortnite. What we do know is that children’s and young people’s exposure to pornography is pervasive and influences their attitudes to sex and relationships. Of the most popular pornography, 88 per cent of scenes include physical aggression, and overwhelmingly (in 94 per cent of cases, according to a 2010 study led by US psychologist Ana Bridges) this aggression is directed towards female performers.

I am hardly a puritan, but when I quipped on ABC TV’s Q&A in early 2015 that books such as Fifty Shades of Grey have done us no favours, I meant it, in spite of the social media backlash. Journalist Lisa Wilkinson called the first Fifty Shades movie ‘domestic violence dressed up as erotica’. Popular cultural references to ‘blurred lines’ (as in the 2012 international hit song by Robin Thicke) or ‘shades of grey’ when discussing sex and relationships do young people no favours, either.

I like Saxon Mullins’ idea of clarity. She’s called for ‘enthusiastic consent’, and ‘if you don’t think you have that, then you’re not good to go’.

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